Parenting in the Social Media Age: Don't Fall Behind!

The Social Media age is a major part of our life now and our children's lives now, usage increases among younger children every year. What can you do as a parent? Have you caught up yet? Don't fall behind mom and dad, it is your responsibility to keep your kids safe. I know it is not easy, we are struggling everyday 

with the same things you are. I am right there with you with a pre-teen and teen daughter that are glued to their iphones and laptops everyday.

The best thing you can do as a parent is keep the lines of communication open, dialogue about social media with your kids is one of the best tools you have. Keep your conversations open and very honest, let them know just how you feel (they can't read your mind, just like you can't read theirs). They need to know the consequences and real dangers that are out in our world today. Don't think that bad things only happen to other people, it can easily be you.

This info-graphic credit "Teen Safe" shows some great thoughts. 

Creating some ground rules from the beginning about how your kids will use social media, how you will monitor their computer and cell phone usage will help you tremendously later on. 

I like the statement that online lives should never take priority over real lives. Keep that in mind and have family nights often, no phones allowed, even you mom & dad. Remember kids will watch and do just what you do too (remember monkey see monkey do?)

Are you always face- deep in your smart phone? Do you post online photos, messages or tweets that are not becoming of the person you want your child to be or see?

How is your social media and phone use, what example do they have to follow. Don't be the bad monkey!

Criticism vs Cruelty Know The Difference and Encourage A Change

I love this part of an article taken from "Momaquery" talking about Criticism vs Cruelty. As women, bloggers, writers, forum posters, leaders or just plan old social media posting we are confronted daily by negativeness that spawns from some deep dark place inside others. The cruel remarks that are made online to others, cyber bullying to a point is uncalled for. Sometimes it is better to keep your negative feelings to yourself and encourage others instead. Find the good in others and situations and focus on those. It is no wonder so many of our teenagers are committing suicide these days over negative bully type behavior that is reflected online toward them. These kids are learning it from their parents. Help make this planet a better place and stop complaining about it all the time!

Quoted from Glennon Doyle Melton

"I am worried about the next generation of truth-telling sisters who see all the internet cruelty and wonder if truth telling is worth the risk. Anne Lamott once said that the great thing about being a writer is that “they can’t boo you right away.” This was important to her because writers have to make themselves so incredibly vulnerable.  It seems crucial to have a buffer between the writer’s offering to the world and the world’s response to that offering. But it’s different now. In the internet generation, our writers are getting booed right away and that changes some things. It really does. Writers tend to be sensitive souls and many of us can’t withstand the barrage of negativity and anonymous pot shots and judgement. So some of us decide to stay quiet. And in turn, the rest of us miss out on hearing some really important, precious, life-giving voices. I know this for a fact, because I know many writers who've decided to lay low, to stay out of the internet fray by keeping their writing private. I know brilliant women from whom you need to hear but they can’t stand the idea of laying themselves and their families on the internet chopping block. And I get it.

If we keep up the constant attacks on our writers, I’m worried we won’t have any left.

And about this- “If they put themselves out there, they’re asking for it” argument . . . are you sure?

Is my vulnerability your free pass to be cruel? Is my exposure your free pass to abandon all goodness and decency and self control? Are you sure about that?

Because that excuse sounds dangerously close to the courtroom argument that if a woman shows herself, she deserves whatever comes next. Her skirt was too short- I could see her legs- she was asking for it. Her shirt was cut too low- I could see her breasts- she was asking for it. She wrote too truthfully- I could see her heart- she asked for it.

If a woman decides to reveal a part of herself- that is not an excuse for other people to hurt her. And if you do decide to hurt her where she’s vulnerable- if you see a part of her that’s showing and pounce on that part- if you sink your teeth into her exposed flesh – that shows who YOU are, not who she is.

Revealing the truth about who God made me does not release you from your responsibility to be a decent human being.

Be critical, fine, that’s fair. But don’t be cruel. Every damn one of us knows the difference.

If you are not kind on the internet, then you’re not kind.

Love Wins,

Glennon Doyle Melton,  truth teller +hope spreader"

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Thank you Glennon for inspiring me tonight to get that off my chest, I want to raise loving compassionate children that can use constructive criticism to grow and learn from, not knock others down.